We’re all facing challenges in this heightened season, as Coronavirus brings huge change to the shape of everyday life for all of us. Some of this is particularly acute for people affected by dementia, including isolation and loss of the usual structure that gives a shape to the week. So how do we keep connections? Here are some things that have been going on, around the Dementia-Friendly Churches Network in recent weeks. Pre-diagnosisFor some people, the impact of memory loss or confusion has been accentuated with the removal of the usual social connections. Conversations with family and friends can be really important. A recent conversation led a daughter, supporting her mother, to read Oliver James’ 'Contented Dementia'. Although there’s no confirmed diagnosis of dementia, the daughter found
It’s vital that we keep listening to people’s experiences locally, sharing understanding that may help to give a “route map”. Dementia-Friendly Churches Certificates – continuing with renewalsWe’re continuing to renew Dementia-Friendly Churches Certificates: some churches are glad to use the opportunity of a renewed Certificate to share ways of keeping connections with people affected by dementia, through challenges of lockdown. Here are the actions that one church has signed up to, renewing its Certificate this month:
For other churches, we’re agreeing actions now and we’ll reissue the Certificates when churches open again: we can have a discussion and work out what’s appropriate for your church. Church groups for people with dementiaUntil church groups for people living with dementia can meet again, people are keeping connections in various ways. Phone calls are important, keeping in touch over the weeks – and for some people it’s been helpful to arrange regular phone calls on different days of the week, to keep frequent connections. For one group, on the day of their regular meeting a pack containing a tea bag, a biscuit and a blessing is delivered to each members of the group. For another group, they’re using the “anchor” the song and same four prayers that they’ve shared month by month over more than six years and they’ve also created a collage of hands affirming their continuing connection – you can see it in the picture at the top of this blog. Care Home connectionsSome staff and residents in care homes have been facing a devastating time on the front line. There are deaths to embrace; and we’re aware of staff living with both physical exhaustion and real heart-stretch, as they navigate a path through. There are also real challenges for relatives who are unable to visit. How are connections being made?
Darkness and light…We all need space for both lamentation and celebration: that’s never been truer than it is now, as we all live through the impact of Coronavirus. With dementia, there needs to be space to acknowledge the cost and challenge it brings, naming all that’s being let go of; and there also needs to be space to affirm life, each step of the way, noticing the light shining through even as patterns change. George Rook, whose blog is called 'Living with dementia as well as I can', posted a blog a few weeks back entitled 'Stay in the light', talking very honestly about both darkness and light: I wonder where you are finding space both to lament the challenges of this present time and/or of dementia and to celebrate the gift of life/connections, which you may find in unexpected places. Join the conversation? Better together…Clive Rogers, who lives with dementia, encourages us along: “I’m ex-military. I’m used to putting up with whatever. It’s just another thing. It’s one of our sayings in the military: Learn, Adapt, Overcome. Find little things to occupy yourself. I’ve got some painting by number. I do an hour a day on that. There’s things to occupy us on iPads. And I pop out into the garden. We’ve arranged Zoom on-line meetings for our DEEP [Dementia] group once a week on a Friday. I won’t get in a corner and curl up and die. I’ll get on with life – live life as best I can. If people want to call, we’re really open to calls to support one another.” And his wife Barbara adds: “It’s not going to be forever. We are going to get through this. We’ll really appreciate all getting together again. You find ways round it. We won’t take hugs for granted in the future.” Clive and Barbara are both happy to speak to people: let me know if you’d like to arrange a conversation with them. You are welcome to join the conversation – sharing any questions / responses / thoughts by email sarah.thorpe@lichfield.anglican.org or by phoning me on 0798 224 8949. If you use Facebook, you can join the conversation there: www.facebook.com/dementiachurch/ And we’ve got some Dementia-Friendly Churches Network meetings coming up in the next few weeks on Zoom: details are coming round in a Newsletter and you’re welcome to be in touch if you want details of the dates and times to join in with these meetings. Sarah Thorpe |