Knowing and welcoming individuals
It was my first visit to St Michael’s Church Rocester and I discovered that it speaks 'Welcome' before you walk through the door. The closest I had been before was driving past the nearby JCB factory, with its nationally recognised branding. Today, I found a local, personal welcome at St Michael’s. 'Places of Welcome – Open': the sign outside church is clear, inviting you in.
The porch is welcoming too, with the community noticeboard including St Michael’s Dementia-friendly Church certificate, as well as details of the weekly Memory Café and '10 requests from a person with dementia'. Stepping in to the church, there’s a warm, friendly atmosphere, with signs of life everywhere you look.
And the Memory Café is in full swing. It’s been running every Thursday morning since last November. There was a slow start initially – and in fact this was useful as each week was different and the four Volunteers found there was a lot to learn. This quartet each have totally different skills, which is helpful in responding to the variety of Visitors they welcome. And there’s a good mix of visitors, some with early stages of dementia, others coming to share conversation and local reminiscence, some brought by family or professional carers, others coming individually.
Above all, people are known by name and welcomed individually. Susan Maiden-Dalton, the Memory Café coordinator who’s also the church warden, takes up the story:
“We have one lady who is a master at Scrabble and one week scored over 400! She loves playing each week and we have to start early otherwise we are still playing when the next group comes in. We have another lady who we managed to persuade to try knitting squares to make blankets for a local hospital, she said she hadn’t knitted for 35 years and she is now loving it and relearning her skills.”
The Scrabble gives a lively atmosphere to the whole group – with a Scrabble dictionary at the ready to settle any queries. And the knitted squares have been created in to a beautiful blanket, complete with Forget-me-nots – a real treasure.
For some, conversation is key to the Memory Café: for a family carer, that can be invaluable. There’s such deeply engrained local knowledge within the group, with people who have lived in Rocester for years – so the thing that’s enjoyed most is just being able to chat to each other about the old days as well as spending hours going through the memory photo book.
And the goodbyes say it all. A carer and her client are both new to the group, so she asks him whether he’d like to come again, checking in on whether he’s enjoyed the jigsaws or the biscuits most. He was clear: “The jigsaws”. “See you next week!”
As I said goodbye and walked away from church, it was being turned round to welcome a toddler group in for the lunchtime slot. Reflecting on the straightforward and steady, warm and welcoming atmosphere of the Memory Café, it felt like a glimpse of heaven: Vistors and Volunteers alike are known individually and welcomed whole-heartedly. “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12)
If you’re thinking of setting up a Memory Café, there’s an open invitation to come along to St Michael’s any Thursday from 10-11:30am. Experience the community that’s crafted week by week here, with everyone feeling better for being together. There’s so much to learn from this personal, welcoming group that knows what brings a light to the eye of each individual visitor – for one Scrabble, for another knitting, for another jigsaws, for others a browse through the memory photo book or a good conversation.
Rocester's Memory Cafe was visited by Sarah Thorpe (phone 07982 248949), the diocese's Dementia-friendly churches and schools adviser. Find more inspiring stories and resources for those living with dementia on our website.